Finding Bella
by colorguard-girl
Summary: A family secret and ten simple words can destroy everything. "I am not who I thought I was.  I'm Sorry." BxE
1. Chapter 1

**EPOV**

Finally I was back from my week long hunting trip with my brothers. It was fun and it felt great to get out and not have to hold back my strength but I missed my Bella and I couldn't wait to get back to her. As reached her home I stealthy ran up to her window and opened it. I slightly shocked to see her room so clean. Bella's bed was made, her books put up and nothing was on the floor or hanging from the rocker in the corner. It felt to clean and to stiff. As I glance around the room I noticed a few things missing, like Bella's favorite pillow and blanket, and her duffel bag. That's when I noticed her scent which was still strong seemed to be less potent. I ran to her closet and opened the door with dismay to see nearly all her clothes were missing. My eyes shocked flaked around until it found an upraised piece of paper. I'll admit I was worried at what I would see but knew I had to read the note.

_Dear Everyone,_

_ I am not who I thought I was._

_I'm sorry; I love you._

No this couldn't be happening, what did she mean she wasn't who she thought she was? I placed the note back and jumped from her room running around the front of the house knocking on the door. I heard Charlie groan as he put the recliner chair down shuffling towards the door. I knew I had to calm down as not to arouse suspicion from the chief.

"Hello Edward." Charlie greeted me as he waved me in.

"Good evening Charlie, I was wondering if Bella was in?" I realized then that her truck was still in the drive way perhaps there was some odd explanation for all of this.

"Sure let me go get her." I sat on the couch as Charlie went upstairs calling Bella's name. I sobbed tearlessly in my hands knowing she wasn't there.

Bella, Edward's here. Bella -he knocked on her door- are you sleeping. Bella. BELLA he shouted his feet stomping around her room, his thoughts trying to convince him she was just playing a cruel joke and hiding from him before a mantra of expletives coursed through his mind once he read the note. He then ran back down grabbing his coat and opening the door.

"Uh she went out with some friends, they picked her up come back later." Charlie said _can't let him worry, not yet at least._

I nodded and once Charlie's car was a safe distance away I took off for home.

**BPOV**

I wiped the falling tears from my eyes as the DART bus picked up a few more passengers. I could believe it, I didn't want to believe it but as I stared at the papers in front of me I couldn't deny it. Charlie was not my biological father, and now I was on my was to find him. I didn't know much about the man except for a name and a school picture.

Josh Grahm.

A handsome guy I'll admit but I couldn't find any of my features in his. Right now I was on my way to Nevada, his mother was at a mental institution there, I wasn't sure what answers I would get from her but I had to try.

Sometimes I really wish I wasn't so curious. I was looking at old pictures of me as a baby trying to decide which ones I wanted to keep. School was out and I was going to get married to Edward soon so I wanted to sort my belongings trying to find the important ones to take with me once I left forever. After removing all the old photo albums I found an aged folder containing Charlie and Renee's divorce papers. I looked through them and really wished I hadn't.

I found the true reason for my parents divorce, Adultery performed by my mother. The proof, simple me. I found documents of a DNA test showing no matches between Charlie and I. Soon enough a summons was put forth for Josh to submit a paternity test, the only problem Josh had been missing for months. Through those papers I had learned that Renee had been honest about her cheating, but Charlie didn't care; at the time he still loved her and in turn loved me. They both sent out papers to Josh -before he went missing- to relinquish all parental rights. He did so and once I was born Charlie adopted me. But after six months with me Charlie couldn't handle Renee's obvious digression so he divorced her.

I was still so hurt though, they had lied to me for eighteen years. I got that, yes Charlie was legally my father but what of the man who sired me? I wanted to find out about the half of me that I never knew I had. I pulled out one of Edward's sweaters that I had packed and cried into it. Wishing I wasn't so stupid and had brought him with me.

I missed him so much and I knew I would be back, I just had to do this by myself. I just hoped he'd still be waiting for me, but I knew if he wasn't that I deserved it. After another few hours it was ten at night and the DART bus was closing for the night. After I grabbed my stuff I went to a simple seedy motel and paid for a room in cash. After I decided to leave I quickly got all my money from my bank account and got a ride from Jacob to the nearest bus station. I had only prayed that after he left Alice wouldn't see me. I had gotten very lucky she hadn't.

Once I was settled into my room for the night I grabbed my cell phone and finally turned it on. It had hardly turned itself on when it was suddenly ringing Edward's ring tone. Sighing I answered as I wiped tears away.

"Hello?"

"Bella, thank god where are I'm coming to get you." Edward said with obvious relief in his voice.

"No Edward, you can't please this is something I must do on my own. I'll answer any question you have but please don't look for me." I told him.

"Where are you, Bella, what are you doing, we are going to get married soon, weren't you happy?" He asked sorrow evident. I never meant to hurt him, I hadn't really thought out my hasty retreat I just knew I had to leave.

"Oh Edward, of course I'm happy, I love you. I promise I'll be home soon enough I just, I have to find my father Edward I'm a state away from Nevada right now, I'm not entirely sure where exactly. I was to tired to ask specifically. I miss you so much, and I'm so sorry I ever hurt you. I swear I never meant to."

"What do you mean you have to find your father, Charlie's here and he's worried sick Bella." I sobbed into the phone.

"Charlie's not my biological father Edward, and I have to find him or at least his closest relatives. I just, it's like everything I ever thought was right, was nothing but lie. It's late Edward and I'm very tired I'll call you later before I leave the motel in the morning ok?" I asked not really wanting to get off the phone with him but knowing the bus would leave early in the morning.

"Ok Bella, I love you so much and I miss you, can I at least have Alice look in on you to make sure your safe, please love?" I smiled and chuckled through my tears.

"Of course, just please don't come for me unless I ask you. I love you too, I miss you good-night." And with that I fell into a restless sleep not knowing what I would find come the next day.

Trying this story out let's see how it goes.

As Always I Own Nothing!


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Edward,_

_I know it's silly to be writing you letters when I'm probably just going to tell you everything over the phone anyway but this helps. I found out which state I'm in, sunny California and in a town that Charlie and I used to visit on my summer trips with him. Kind of ironic right? It seven forty five at the bus station and I'm early but I couldn't sleep any more, I'm so nervous I wish Jasper could be here to calm my nerves. More importantly I wish you could be here to hold me and say everything will be okay, even when I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to call you and beg you to come down here and be with me, to be here for me. Or perhaps you do, does Alice have migraines yet? If so tell her I'm sorry. Before I left I did some digging about; my father his name is Josh Grahm, he went missing before I was born it was in the paper at the library if you want to check it out. He has one sister so I guess I have an aunt right? I'm not sure where I can find her though the only solid lead I have is Josh's mother and she's in Spring Mountain Treatment Center, a mental hospital. Apparently she went crazy after her son disappeared. Sometimes I wonder if she knew about me, if anyone in his family knew about me. In a way I hope they didn't, maybe that would hurt less, perhaps if they had known they wouldn't have let Josh give me up so easily. But if they did know, well I'm not sure how I'll feel. I hope this letter find you well, I miss you and love you. Oh how silly of me I've opened a P.O box in Nevada so my letters will be forwarded to there, if you do write back I'll get them. Not saying you have to or anything it's probably easer just to say what you want over the phone. Just letting you know since I'll probably be staying in Nevada for a few weeks, not to long mind you just to visit and try and get some information._

_With all my love,_

_Bella Swan. _

I finished my letter and sealed it up putting it in the mailbox at the post office near the bus station. I had woken up at six this morning, I hadn't been able to sleep. I had my phone on but I ignored all phone calls unless they were from Edward. I'm sure both Renee and Charlie were worried about me but I was too betrayed to speak to either of them. I grabbed my bags and walked back to the bench I once occupied and sat, just waiting. The birds fluttered above as the early morning sun beamed down on me. I missed the suns warmth, I'll admit.

"Running to or away?" A voice asked. I jumped, I hadn't noticed anyone had sat next to me. Yet there was a young woman heavily pregnant looking at me with a smile.

"Excuse me?" I didn't understand what she meant.

"Sweetie you look like your either running away from something or towards something, so which one is it?" I wasn't quite sure I didn't want to say I was running away because that meant running away from Edward and he was the best part of me, though I did want to escape the lie my life seemed to revolve around. And I didn't want to say I was running towards something because usually that meant finding something good, or better in your life and maybe this experience was just going to crush me. I told the woman this and she nodded in understanding.

"The names Sally kid and it seems like you have yourself quite a conundrum there." I hummed in agreement.

"Perhaps your just trying to find some fact around all the lies you've been told." Sally stated.

"Yeah I think I am. So what about you Sally running away or to something?" Sally threw her head back laughed.

"Oh lordy honey, neither. I'm right where I want to be. You just looked like you needed someone to talk to, and I needed someone to listen to." I smiled and Sally lifted herself up, she patted my cheek and started walking.

"Good luck sweets I hope you find what your looking for." She called with a wave.

"Bella." I hollered to her. Sally gave me a questioning look.

"My name, it's Bella."

"Well best of luck Bella." I waved good-bye as the bus pulled up. I found my seat and took out my phone ignoring any texts from my mother and dialed Edward's number.

"Good-morning love." Edward breathed. I closed my eyes and basked in his voice.

"Hi Edward, its so good to good to hear your voice." my eyes watered as I imagined him in gloomy Forks waiting for me.

"Ditto love. How are you this day? Where are you going? I've missed you." I let out a shaky laugh as I wiped away my tears.

"I've missed you too, I've been fine; I'm better now that I'm talking to you though. I'm on my way to Nevada now the bus driver said it should be a three hour trip though. Edward the bus starting to fill up and I can't hear you that well I have to let you go okay?" I half yelled into my phone as I plugged up my ear and tried to ignore the people bumping into me.

"Okay Bella, call me as soon as you can I love you." Edward yelled back, obviously able to hear the ruckus happening on my end with his vampire hearing.

"I love you too bye." I hung up as an obese man bumped into me for the third time, I glared at him but he ignored me. A woman got on then with three children, one was a small infant crying its eyes out, the other too were older but still young themselves.

"Do you mind if my son sits here please?" the frazzled woman asked me rocking the fussy baby in her arms. I shook my head and moved my bags to the young boy could sit next to me.

"Hi, I'm Wes." The boy introduced himself. He was rather cute, short red hair bright blue eyes and dimples like I have never seen. He would give Emmett a run for his money.

"Hi Wes I'm Bella." He smiled at me his dimples showing even more.

"Bella, that's a pretty name, your pretty." Wes said grabbing my hand. I had a smile cracking me face as a blush flooded my cheeks.

"Thank you Wes, you are a little cutie." He just smiled and nodded, so cute. Half an hour into our trip and Wes wanted to talk again.

"Are you running away from your daddy?" He asked. I gasped at what he was implying.

"No Wes, I'm trying to find out about mine."

"Oh. My Daddy wasn't very nice." Wes said grabbing at my hand again. As he said that I instantly started to feel guilty. Sure Charlie lied to me but he has never hurt me. He was an amazing dad and I shouldn't be ignoring him like this it isn't right. With my mind made up I decided that next rest stop I was going to call Charlie. Finally after what felt like hours -when actually it was just barely a full hour- we had stopped for a twenty minute break, the bus driver told us not to dawdle and be ready on time. I decided to take my bags with me, not wanting to risk anything. After using the bathroom and finding a place I could pace, I had enough with sitting for right now I called Charlie. He picked up almost immediately.

"Oh Bella thank god where the hell have you been, your mother and I have been so worried." I scratched my head not sure how I should start out.

"I'm sorry dad I, I found something when I was looking thru my baby pictures and, well how come you never told me I wasn't your daughter?" I asked quietly.

"Oh Bella, you were never supposed to find out like this I. I'm not sure how to explain it." I finally sat down and huffed.

"I'm not mad I guess, well at first I was but then it just became hurt, why did you never tell me?"

"Because I never wanted to admit it myself, to me you are my daughter no matter what and a simple piece of paper can never tell me differently. I though that if I never brought it up, if you never had to know then I could just forget it ever happened. Not that you never happened just the situation never happened. Come home Bella please I miss you and Edward misses you." my lips trembled but I refused to cry.

"I will be home Charlie soon, but I need to find out about my biological father. I want to find out about the other side of me, one that I never knew existed." Charlie snorted.

"They didn't want you Bella, that's why Josh gave you up. You were a mistake in there eyes and the quicker they got rid of you the quicker they could move on. Stop searching for something that's only going to hurt you." I started cry when Charlie called me a mistake. Maybe this whole thing was just one big mistake in its self?

"Why, would you say that?" how could he have hurt me? Maybe I deserved it for hurting him.

"I'm sorry Bella, that was wrong of me to say I'm so sorry please just come home sweetie."

"I can't Charlie not until I see this thru, maybe I was a mistake but until I hear it from there mouths I'm just going to pretend like they didn't know about me." And then I hung up. I was upset and needed to talk to Edward, I dialed instantly.

"Hello love." I smiled.

"Hi Edward." I breathed into the phone already feeling better.

"How's your trip going?" He wondered.

"Fine I should be able to call you from my motel soon we're on the last leg of the trip now."

"That's great Bella, the sooner you get your information the sooner you can come home, right?"

"Yeah Edward, not too long I promise you." We talked for the rest of my break and gave each other sorrow filled good-byes when I saw the bus loading up. I walked out and got on the bus putting my bags back and taking my seat. Wes wasn't in the seat next to me anymore, when everyone boarded his mother was able to get him one closer to her. The last leg of the trip seemed longer without him here to cheer me up. Eventually I ended up falling asleep. I woke up a little while later and my heart started hammering in my chest when I saw the large sign welcoming me into Nevada. I found a motel and settled in paying for a week in my room. Once I was unpacked I called a cab and took it to the mental hospital Josh's mother was staying in.

It was hard to see her, seeing as she was in one of the restricted rooms but once I could prove my relation to her they let me go in. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't this. There was thin woman sitting on an overly white bed just staring at nothing. Her brown hair long and knotty her eyes hollow and cheeks sunken in. I sat in a plastic chair and smiled at her, still no response.

"Hello, you wouldn't know me but I'm Bella."

Still nothing.

"I'm wondering about my father Josh, he was your son." A spark of life came into her eyes but quickly dimmed.

"Please I want to know about him, anything really. What happened to him."

"Beautiful." She murmured.

"What?" I demanded

"Eyes…Beautiful…people…beautiful…red…missing…gone…Josh?…beautiful…red…red…red" She kept on murmuring nonsense things.

"Please I don't understand." The woman looked at me motioning me towards her. I got up and sat on the bed she moved closer to me, I could feel her breathing in my ear.

"Josh, not missing…taken beautiful people…Red eyes, beautiful mind." She whispered then pushed me away and started screaming.

"Avem tata, urmator este copil." She started screaming. The nursing staff pushed themselves in trying to calm her as she screamed something in another language.

Perhaps she hasn't gone crazy. My father might have been taken, by vampires and what about the beautiful mind stuff? There was only person I knew who might have the answers to my questions and that was Carlisle.


End file.
